“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” ~Unknown
The good Book says: “Fear has torment.” And I believe it to be true. There is something about fear that holds you back from living the life you should, doing the things you ought to. There is fear of the unknown, which is good and realistic and there is this paralyzing fear that prevents you from living your life to the fullest. And that form of fear is absolutely unhealthy. That kind of fear kills people. It kills their dreams (if they ever find the courage to have one), it kills them emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and in all aspects you can think of. Fear ages us beyond recognition, until we chose to break free of it.
But how, did you say?
Few years ago, I was involved in a situation that robbed me of my ability to trust people around me. It got so bad that I began to question all of my every decision. I was afraid to trust, believing that when I do, I am going to get hurt again and when that happens, I would never survive it.
I found a way to convince myself that if I let myself go, I would end up more broken and damaged. I forgot that in brokenness comes restoration, healing and faith. For over two years, I lived in fear and in those years, I was a shell of myself. Each time I went out, I left myself on the shelf back at home. I was unhappy, miserable and ugly. Everyone knew something was wrong with and they couldn’t place it.
At my wits end, I reached out to the One said “call upon me in the times of trouble and I will answer you, I will show you great and mighty things…” I found joy in liberation from the captive shackles of fear, I found love from those who surrounded me (which I had been blinded to).
It took some effort on my part also. And these involved: leaving my comfort zone behind. For me, this didn’t involve big steps. All I had to do was change my thought patterns, channeling my energy towards positive thoughts instead on dwelling on the negative ones. I will tell you, it wasn’t an easy task, but committing myself to doing this everyday really helped. I am not there yet, but I am way better than I was, I can assure you.
I also made a commitment to believe in myself. You see, everybody around me kept telling me how capable I was, how beautiful and good I was but I didn’t see what they were seeing until I chose to look inward and believe in myself. I believe in my skills as a people connector and a great listener. I also believed in my abilities to bring a smile to people’s faces and believe me, these have tremendously enhanced my feelings of self-worth.
Then I created small goals each day and I allowed myself the breather that if I didn’t finish a goal, I was not a failure.
I chose to have a great attitude and maintain it, even when everything scream otherwise. I have not succeeded in not getting frazzled when things go wrong, but I am working towards not overreacting when stuffs happen.
I am also learning not to hesitate. I am learning to take opportunities when they appear/approach and I am also learning to create them.
I have found that with these steps, I am better equipped to live and to live with a bang!I hope these work for you too.